Auto-ego took over with lots of defensive thoughts. I churned on this for quite some time. I observed myself churning on this for quite some time...but my ego just could not let go. Until I started to remember one of my vows...discovering compassion and loving kindness with all.
I realized that I couldn't simultaneously be defensive and compassionate. The defensiveness slowly drained away...mostly...but I find I need to remind myself of this each time that defensive routine tries to take over.
Namaste and Friendly Bows _/|\_