My Zen practice has been heavily based on the dharma teachings of Charlotte Joko Beck.Her 2 books have been foundational to my study these last few years.
I have come to a point in practice where I was looking for a logical next step. That drove me to start looking at Joko's lineage to see who her dharma heirs were as a potential teaching source.
I was shocked to find that Joko had revoked transmission to Ezra Bayda and Elizabeth Hamilton and disassociated herself from the San Diego Zen Center.
I have quite enjoyed Ezra's work. He has some great Zen books (which I will review over time.)
Sitting zazen today my mind kept coming back to the question about why this hit me so hard. As I sat I realized that I had linked message and messenger and had developed a degree of awe and attachment with Joko because of the clarity with which she communicated the Zen message.
I don't know any details of the circumstances. From a distance it appears that Joko became senile in her final years. The ultimate demonstration of impermanence.
This was my reminder. Our teachers are the fingers pointing the way; they are not the Way.
I bow to your final teaching Joko...
Friendly bows to all, _/|\_